Top 5 Signs you bought a lousy Christmas Tree.
5. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide.
4. The Sales guy at the tree store asks: "You're not a cop, are you?".
3. It looks like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers.
2. It's very small and says "air freshener" on it.
1. Your neighbor is JEWISH and has a better Christmas trees than yours.
My personal favorite..
Your CAT wont touch it (now that's a bad tree)
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